zin for breakfast

Ouch, eHarmon(e)y. Really?

So I recently took the eHarmony personal profile test. eHarmony is actually a dating site, which they try to rope you into paying for by offering this test and then telling you they've found you the love(s) of your life via some patented algorithm. Well, I took the test a few years ago, and it refused to give me any answers. It said "Given your profile, we are unable to match you." Well if that's not depressing.

So I took it again the other day because I was still curious. Had I become matchable in the last year or so? The answer was yes! I was suddenly flooded with emails introducing me to eHarmony-approved "highly compatible" men. Of course, I can't actually communicate with any of them unless I pay $40/a month for a year or whatever. I should hope it wouldn't take a year to find a date in this town.

The best part, though, and the real reason I joined, was the personality assessment you get at the end. According to eHarmony, the phrase that best describes me is: CONSISTENTLY TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.

And for a more nuanced assessment, the words that best describe me: 

Uncompromising Frank Astute

Critical Empirical Tough

Discerning Skeptical Shrewd

I don't know what's worse, having an online dating service tell you you're unmatcheable or having an online dating service tell you.you're completely self-absorbed.

1. NYTimes.com has a new blog about words called Schott's Vocab. Love it.

2. Yes, I went on vacation and didn't tell anyone. Yes, I left my camera in Sonoma. When I get it back, I'll post pictures of familiar San Francisco landmarks and chocolate cake.

3. James Wood is giving a talk tonight at my program. Is it wrong that I want to watch March Madness instead?

"cooking" round-up + dog

Remember how I promised to write more about what I cook in my own kitchen? And then I started writing reviews for falafel and pork buns instead? Well it turns out that I eat some pretty unappetizing things. No, not like adventurous unappetizing, just unappetizing. Remember when I put peanut butter on my sweet potatoes? Yeah, like that. I also made these sweet potato fries (delicious, salty, garlicky) and ate them with salsa and nonfat yogurt. Why?!

I don't know. I just get this idea that I should make use of what's in my fridge and pantry. Like, "Hey, I've got some black beans sitting here, why don't I put this teriyaki sauce  on them, add some cayenne, put it all in the blender, and then spread it on a cracker!" Ga-ross.

But since I promised, and since I did cook a fair amount when I was home sick last week, here's a little illustrated run-down of home-cooked meals, loosely defined:

1. Creamy polenta/polenta bars. Polenta is a miracle starch. I found some of the quick-cooking variety, and it's insane how quickly it comes together and how much mileage you can get from 1/2 a cup. I eat it for breakfast (when I'm not feeling the oatmeal), and the leftovers are great for polenta bars. I eat the creamy polenta with milk and cinnamon and walnuts. The leftovers firm up in the fridge, and I cut them in bars and fry them in a skillet with a little butter (I skipped flour dredging step because I don't have flour, and they were still good, even though they fell apart a little in the pan).

2. Chicken and rice. I'm probably the last person on earth to be wowed by chicken. I told you I'm an amateur. But seriously, I barely used any oil, and my chicken was moist and tender. I put some Adobo seasoning on it (A Simple Shake is All It Takes!), and eat it over Parmesan brown rice. The rice cooks with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, and the Parmesan gets stirred in at the end. Gourmet, I know. Oh, and yes, that was a very entertaining article in the New Yorker about lesbians on road trips.

3. Squash and parsnips pureed. This was lovely comfort food on the worst day of my cold. On that day, I slept, woke up and made this, ate it, and went back to sleep. I boiled the chunks of vegetables and threw them in the blender with olive oil, cinnamon, and a little nutmeg. Butter would be delicious, too (of course), but I've been trying to stick with the mono/polyunsaturated fats as much as possible. Mark Bittman has trained me well.

4. Sardines on rice chips and (non-baby) carrots. I don't really understand baby carrots. Are they grown that way? They always taste sort of watery and processed to me. I have similar concerns regarding baby corn. There's just something weird about eating a food with "baby" in its name. I also think grown-up carrots are just better. They're sweeter and crunchier and more satisfying all around. My mom used to eat sardines and I thought they were disgusting. Turns out they're not! I started buying them after I found the Society for the Appreciation of the Lowly Tinned Sardine (SALT), which reviews canned sardines. They're actually a great thing to have around. They have a lot of iron and good fat, and it's easy to plop them into sauces, stir frys, etc, or mash them with garlic and eat them on bread. I ate them on these brown rice chips, which turned out to steal the show. Riceworks, I am now a devotee.

5. No, I didn't make this bagel at home, but it's worth a mention. It's from H&H on 80th and Broadway, where some of the best bagels in the world are supposedly made. I ate it with smoked salmon and cream cheese, and it was good. Not "best in the world" good, but pretty satisfying.

Now I'm home, where my mother makes me dinner and I get to hang out with this guy:

He was lying on my stomach at this point. I won't bore you with gratuitous puppy shots, but there are plenty more on Flickr.

Tomorrow, it's back to city. Expect some Tuesday Tramping and some cupcake updating soon!

East 77th Street Inspiration

And a little farther down the street...

ask google, yahoo answers

I've never liked the idea of asking Google personal questions. By "personal questions," I don't mean questions about Google, I mean questions about me. Like "Why did my toenail fall off?" Sure, search terms are fine, but questions? As if Google were my doctor or therapist or wise grandmother? It always felt too weird. But recently I've been enlisting Google's sage advice more often, albeit not in full question form, and I'm finding that most of the answers are coming from Yahoo. Yahoo Answers, to be exact. Yahoo Answers is basically akin to standing on the street and asking random strangers to answer questions they may or may not know anything about. One person asks, and the whole world can respond. Here are some recent searches I've done that have turned up a range of Yahoo Answers:

gas burner left on all day? (call 911, open all the windows, don't touch any electronics, turn on fans to blow away "gas pockets")
grape skins indigestion? (allergic, you ate too many, call your doctor, too much fiber, mold, yeast, pesticides, anthrax...)
garlic sprouting can i use? (no, yes, bad for you, good for you, tastes bitter/nutty/mild/delicious/horrible)

Thus, out of democracy springs truth, or at least a few good guesses.